Bored, tired, need something different

Hey, how are ya?

Well, I've seemingly not posted since I blogged my thoughts on the sad passing of Robin Williams.  I was thinking of writing a piece about Sir Richard Attenborough (much more than Santa in that film), but I thought it best to not follow one tribute with another.  Perhaps I will look at the great Lord Attenborough, but not at this moment.

First of all - happy birthday to my dad today and to my Uncle Clive tomorrow.  I won't mention ages, but they are older than me! :-)

Marks & Spencer Butterscotch Drops

Since the last blog post then I've done pretty much the same old same old...  Working, sleeping, working, sleeping, grew an abscess on the right side of my face - the guess is that it was as a consequence of a filling coming out.  I seem to have been self-treating well with the use of paracetamol and ibuprofen apparently, or so the dentist said (well, I'm taking those for the post-bicycle accident injuries anyway).  The filling work has now been redone, and luckily it hasn't come back out yet.  Mind you, my packet of sugar free butterscotch drops from M&S might not help with that.  They are flaming well tasty though damn it!  Damn you sweets and the like - lovely to taste, but not good for the waistline or my teeth!

My musical journey a la the songwriting challenge known as 50-90 seems to be quiet at present.  I've been unable to get any actual music written lately due to work commitments, and I don't tend to work on music when Louise is at home - we don't get much time lately with us both working during completely different times, which means we take what time we can get together.

Louise went to see the film Guardians of the Galaxy with me, and I was surprised when she said that she thought it was "one of the worst films that I have ever seen!"  What?  Really?  It's amazing how two people can have such an enormous difference of opinion about something!  I thought it was one of the greatest Marvel Comics films!!!  Oh well, we can't all be the same can we?!?!

Looking at my output for 50-90 this year, I can see that it isn't a lot.  That's just because of the reason I explained - time!  I'm sure that I will get something done very soon, but I am not sure exactly when to be honest!

I see that the comeback of Kate Bush is perhaps a little so-so in response because she isn't playing anything from her earlier period of work!  Well, that is hardly surprising in some ways, but then people that really know the work of Ms Bush would understand that anyway.  First and foremost - do you really think that she can get that vocal ability now that she did in her late teens/early twenties?  Doubtful!

Even someone who kept on the circuit for all of those years would have trouble, because your vocal abilities can diminish over time, just as your hearing does - that's just natural!

To perform those songs (Wuthering Heights, The Man With The Child In His Eyes, Babooshka, etc) now at 56 years old would basically give people the ability to say "well, she can't sing them like she used to...", and other such things!  Either way people will moan - "she didn't sing it" or "she shouldn't have sung it"!  She could not win either way with that one!

She is one of a breed that is becoming a thing of the past unfortunately - a musical artist/entertainer!  Rather than nowadays where it's all clones of the same manufactured pap, she is from the school of thought that thinks there is something in individuality - difference is good!  She is providing a well thought out and organised show as opposed to a by-the-numbers concert (songs, some fireworks and effects perhaps - job done).  She has an entire show mapped out - choreography, arrangements, video footage, costumes, a storyline perse, and so much more!  If you want the best of Kate Bush live, then I am sure there is probably a tribute act somewhere?!?

Hold on...  Gets journal out - yes, I keep a journal!

We have watched a few films that were from Lovefilm lately, which included...  Well, funnily enough they sent us six DVDs at the same time because of some delivery problems we were having with them not arriving, so they sent six altogether;

A Long Way Down

A Long Way Down - hmm, decent film starring Pierce Brosnan, Toni Colette, Aaron Paul (yes, Jesse from Breaking Bad), and some other people.  A group of people meet on the roof of somewhere in London and make a pact not to commit suicide.  Quite funny in places, and a decent enough film!

Monsters University - It's okay, but not as good as Monsters Inc. of course!

Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit - actually a lot better than I thought it would be!  A decent thriller.  Perhaps the fact that you know the main character will be okay takes away any potential sense of danger though?

This Means War - another film starring Chris Pine (he is Jack Ryan in the previous film), co-starring Tom Hardy (from the could have been better Star Trek Nemesis) and Reece Witherspoon (does she age at all?).  A good enough comedy about two spies who fall for the same woman and try to outdo each other to win the girl!  I kept being reminded of the fabulous Arnold Schwarzenegger film True Lies for some reason while watching this!

American Hu.. - Hold on!

American Hustle - I really enjoyed this film a lot!  We watched it over two sittings in two different days to be honest, but that didn't take away from the fact that it was decent!  All of the acting was great, and the script was clever.  I know my friend John said it was okay, but then it was a film based on truth, so you can't really go too far with something that is based on truth can you?

We are still in the midst of watching The Railway Man, which we initially thought might be boring, but we can't wait to get the last half watched because it is a bloody good film about a guy in 1980 who still has horrific memories of being beaten and tortured in a Japanese prisoner of war camp.  He has a fascination with railways, hence the title, but there is so much more to it.  Colin Firth and Stellan Skarsgard are absolutely incredible in the film.  I do think that Nicole Kidman as the main character's wife is a bit by the numbers though, but even that is good!  Perhaps she gets better in the second half.  We shall see!  I usually like Ms Kidman too - The Others is still a cracking film!

Anyway, there you are - a blog.

Also, lest I forget...

Rest in peace Sir Richard Attenborough.  You were so much - a great actor, director, producer, entrepreneur, and more.  He was an incredible actor in Brighton Rock, The Great Escape, Jurassic Park, Miracle on 34th Street, and I'm All Right Jack.  A great director with Gandhi (seen most of it, but not all and would love to), A Bridge Too Far (cracking film), Young Winston, and Cry Freedom.

Thank you for reading, please take care.

August 30th 2014 (43 years, 9 months, and 4 days old)

Robin Williams - a legend to me

While I was at work driving around on Monday night I switched the radio on and the Mork & Mindy theme was playing. "Oh well," I thought, "they play all sorts of music on BBC Radio 2." That's one of the reasons I listen to that station to be honest. I hear older songs I love, older songs that I didn't know and have thought "wow that's great," and the same for newer songs too.

Anyway, the theme tune finished and then Janice Long (the presenter) said "that was played in memory of Robin Williams who died today."

I had to park the car up because I was in total shock! I cried too, and I don't mind admitting it!

Like many others I never really knew the guy, but I loved him. Something else that I don't mind admitting.

When I was a child they showed Mork & Mindy on the television here in the UK, on ITV I think - there were only three channels in the UK then, and no alternative was available - no satellite or cable service!

It was probably 1978 or so I suppose, and I was still just seven years old. Being born in November means I'm just later having a birthday than most from the year I was born! I don't know why I said that, but I did. I'll leave it there.

Mork & Mindy was being shown on the TV though and, although I probably didn't understand everything, I knew there were bits that I loved about the show, and most of what I loved was Robin himself and the character he portrayed, for it was a character, and he was acting! The character was zany, said some very silly (funny things), and also found it difficult to fit in, much like myself to a point.

I was incredibly shy as a child and, as I still do to a degree, I found myself getting lost in my own little world where I felt secure. In a way the programme sort of showed me that it was good to at least try to interact with people. It didn't always work, but eventually I did make friends. I still have that shyness to a degree, but I have learnt to realise when and how to push a situation to try and get to know people.  It used to manifest itself at times as a paranoia, hence my eventual nickname of Marv- Marvin the paranoid android you see!  Marv for short!

Anyway, at various points in my life I saw Robin Williams along the way.  I always intended to watch the film Popeye from 1980, but never did.  At a video shop (yes video tapes people - tapes) when I was eleven or twelve I saw the film The World According to Garp on display - "oh look, it's Mork!"  "Hmm, I'm not bothered about that," came the response.  I hope to get to see that sometime because I've heard that it's okay.  The guy has been in a lot of films - A LOT OF FILMS!  I haven't seen them all but I have not disliked a single film that I have seen him in!  That is the total truth!

Moscow on the Hudson

During the mid to late eighties I caught a film coming on the television called Moscow on the Hudson, and it starred Robin Williams.  In fact, I think it was in 1988 because I was living on my own in a bedsit - a bedsit you couldn't live in until you were over eighteen, but I lied because I was seventeen at the time.  Necessity made me have to lie.  I couldn't live at my mum's because of certain reasons, and I also couldn't live with my dad because I wasn't sure where I stood there at the time.  I had been thrown out of where I was living because of violence as a result of drunkenness and possibly drug use, I don't completely remember now to be honest, but things weren't good then!

Anyway, the period where the drunkenness occurred was short-lived, and now I was living in a bedsit (a bedroom to myself that had JUST ENOUGH SPACE for a single bed, a wardrobe, and a television on a stand), and the film Moscow on the Hudson came on.  "Okay," I thought, "this is the guy who made me laugh so much in Mork & Mindy, it'll be great!"  It started...  I got so far through it, and thought "hmm, this is a bit serious and where is Mork?"  After a little while, I realised that the guy with the funny Russian accent was Mork, but in a serious role.  "It's a bit dramatic this, but he's really good," I thought.  I watched the whole film and thought it was good.

I had already seen the advertisements for the film Good Morning Vietnam that was at the cinema the previous year, and I didn't know what to make of that.  I'd heard that Williams was fabulous in it, but the only bits I saw on trailers and such were humorous bits which sort of bugged me at the time, what with the war being incredibly deadly - I wasn't sure if it took it seriously.  The clips I saw were unclear on this.

"Gooooood morning Vietnaaaam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When I did eventually see the film, I thought that it was astounding, but that wasn't for a long time!

The Awakenings

Funnily enough, the next film I saw him in was the fantastic film The Awakenings, in which he co-starred with Robert DeNiro.  What a film!  The fact that it was a true story as well made it even more poignant to me.  I want to watch that film again actually because it has been a while!

Jumanji

Anyway, over the years I have watched (and have yet to watch) a good few of his films.  Hook, Aladdin, A Night at the Museum (1 & 2), Jumanji (I loved it), Robots, Mrs Doubtfire (oh yeah - the humour and the drama both together, the pain you feel for the character and the times you laugh in the same film!)...  The list is endless.

In between Mork and all of this though, I also saw him on the music video for the fabulous Bobby McFerrin song Don't Worry Be Happy - one of my favourite songs in fact!  I smile every time I see that film, and I hope that I still will now.

Mrs Doubtfire

I also remember him taking part in the George Martin album In My Life.  George Martin was basically picking songs from his career that include pieces he'd written himself, as well as other songs such as obviously some Beatles songs (I love the whole album to be honest with you).  George says that he asked Bobby McFerrin to come in and do the John Lennon-written song Come Together, to which Bobby turned up at Abbey Road studio saying "I've brought a friend with me to help."  It was Robin!  What they did was so inspired in my opinion, and is right there in my memory forever.  Brilliant - Robin and Bobby doing that song together is fabulous I think.

However, much later than when it first came out I watched Dead Poet's Society.  It was on the television think (or perhaps rented out on video - I'm not sure).  I sat down, watched, and was absolutely lost for words.  Robin's performance in that film to me was outstanding, as was the acting by everybody in the whole film!  The character of John Keating was such a great character, and the iconic ending of the film was definitely one of the greatest endings to a film that I have ever seen!  Emotion, humour in places, and so much in there.  The score in fact jumped out at me as well by the way, but that's not Robin!

I've seen a few of his stand-up pieces over the years as well, and the interviews with him have some amazing improvised on the spot moments that have made me fall about laughing.  His ability to do that and then to have been able to play those incredibly dramatic roles such as John Keating, Adrian Cronauer (there is drama and comedy in that role, perfectly put across by some exemplary acting), and much more shows that he was an individual with so much character within him.  Outwardly you didn't normally get to see much more in interviews and the likes other than the jokes, because he seemed to me to be a very guarded person about his private life, although he was incredibly honest and joked about his addictions over the years - a comedian making a joke out of something that was so serious after all!

The drugs and alcohol were possibly something to help him with that awful illness that many people suffer from - depression!  It affects so many people, and yet remains in the background brushed aside - hidden away.  I can't even imagine how he was feeling towards the end, even though in the late eighties I too tried to commit suicide once.  All that happened though was that I made myself sick by taking too many paracetamol - what did I know?

I have encountered spells of depression in my life, but I would call mine "light depression" looking back with a revisionist's eye.  Anything is light when placed into this context.  I feel so saddened that Robin took his own life in the end, despite how much love he both gave to people all over the world, and how much so many people around the world gave their love back to him.  He wanted to make people smile with his absolute uniqueness - there was no forcing from him, he was just like that!  An incredible person that will be missed.

But, don't forget what he has left behind.  The films are there to be enjoyed, you can see his stand-up routines on DVD or whatever still.  You may shed a tear or be a little sad watching, but then when he says something that is hysterically funny it will make you laugh so much, while crying perhaps at the same time.  Happy laughter and sad crying?  That's the two sides to life in a nutshell right there, brought to you by the wonderful human being that was the inimitable Mr Robin Williams.

We miss you Robin.  Rest in peace.  We love you xx

A hell of a time

Hello everybody.

I'm writing a blog post now because things are on my mind, and there are a multitude of them.

On Monday of last week (4th August) I met up with a friend from my schooldays, and we enjoyed watching the film Guardians of the Galaxy together - my shout as a late birthday present for him, and he paid for refreshments at Snacks - a cafe near to the cinema.

My friend Russell and myself

The film itself was fantastic! I'll put it up there as one of the best Marvel films! I'd possibly go out on a limb and say it is my favourite, because it ticks all of the boxes for me - Marvel universe, sci-fi elements, superheroes, humour, drama, light and dark, and more!

It also gave us a chance to find out about each other, and we found out a fair bit.  I will leave that there because it is private.

Whilst with my friend I received a text from Louise saying that out goldfish (Titus) wasn't looking great.  After a little more time with my friend I went home.

Now a few days earlier Louise spotted that Titus wasn't looking his usual self - his scales were protruding, and he looked sluggish in the tank.  This was on the Wednesday because on the Thursday Louise bought something from Wilkinsons, which was a treatment where a very small, say five or so millilitre measure, was placed into the tank.

Louise mentioned while I was on the last shift (the Thursday night) before my holidays that he mum had looked it up and found that he was suffering from something called "dropsy", which is a kidney disorder.  The suggested treatment was a special kind of salt so I stupidly enough said that I would get home the next morning, sleep for an hour, and then get up, get ready, and go to the pet store to buy some and treat him.

I did buy the salt, took it home, and then couldn't understand the instructions - "place 0.3% for this, 0.6% for that, and 0.9% for dropsy, etc.  Okay, what the heck does nine percent mean?  Nine percent of what for crying out loud???  My tired mind couldn't work it out, so I looked on a forum online, where I found measurements.  Thank you internet.  I put that amount into the tank and let it do it's thing.

Further instructions - "add 0.3% each day blah blah".  Oh, so that means add a third of what I put in the first day to make the second day's amount that much larger, and so on each day?  Okay.

I did that for the whole weekend, but both myself and Louise remained worried.  Titus was fourteen years old after all, and you get very attached to a pet that lives for a while!  I know to some that that seems silly - "he's a goldfish!"  However, it isn't because there were some strange things about him.  He would sort of respond if we talked to him.  He once looked at me and then at the food next to his fish tank. "I think he wants some food," I said.  "Okay," said Louise, "give him a little bit."  I did, and he went straight for it.  My imagination perhaps?

Titus - actually taken a little before we
realised that he was unwell :-(

Anyway, he seemed to be getting better to me, but on Monday he had indeed taken a turn for the worst.  He wasn't looking great, and I felt terrible.  I was sure that he would be okay.  He was a fighter, and had survived for this long!

During the evening though we could see that he wasn't doing well, and I kept trying to talk to him, to spur him on, but it was to no avail.

At sometime between 10pm and 10.45pm, he had made his way into the front right hand side corner of the tank, face looking to the side of the tank and the back of his dorsal fin at the front of the tank, at an angle, and I saw a last slight shimmy. He passed away, and we were both distraught.  Yes, some people won't understand that, but some will. Louise cried, and I just felt terrible, questioning what I had done and what I could have done.

I hardly got any sleep that night, or for the following few nights until Friday or Saturday night.  During the Monday nighttime, I was lying awake in bed and suddenly realised that I had indeed given him the wrong dosage - too little by a big margin in fact!  The amount on the forum had been wrong.  However, the pet shop actually wouldn't have had enough anyway, as the first dose alone would have been around two-thirds of a packet.  They didn't have enough boxes to go beyond the first two days.  That still didn't help because I was thinking about "if I had the right amount, then would it have saved him?"  That was my thought for a while, and will continue to be for a long time to come yet.

We took Titus out of the fishtank the next day, placed him into a couple of handkerchiefs, in which he was then placed into a little plastic box.  There was more, but I won't go into that for fear of people taking the mickey.  We took that to Louise's parents, where they would bury him near to their pet rabbit Horace who died around a year ago.

Anyway, I actually started writing this, wow, it must be about a week ago now, and I would have left it there.

Since I'm finishing it now though, I will say that I did more during my seven days of holiday time.

Sissy the travel guitar

On that first day (the Friday when I bought the salt to treat Titus), I think that is when I bought my first travel guitar that I named Sissy (after Sissy Spacek, who played Carrie in the film, you carry the guitar, so carry and Carrie - Sissy y'see - it makes sense to me).  I was initially going to buy a car that day, but earlier in the week I was given a quote for the car insurance which made me change my mind in a big way - very expensive after two years without a car!

So, I bought Sissy and love her to bits.  The following Wednesday I sort of enjoyed the second of the two days hire I had on a nice diesel Ford Focus car by going to Mansfield to visit my mum (once Louise had finished work of course).  I met my friend Steve from Unit Five studios in Mansfield, who I was initially intending on buying two AKG microphones from (a matching pair), but one of them blew the diaphragm, so I just got one, but then he showed me something he could put aside for me to buy off him at a later date - an MXL V69 microphone.  It looked gorgeous, and I had heard great things about it.  I bought it there and then!  When I tried it the Saturday after, it was gorgeous - I think I have an earthing problem though because there's a really loud humming in the background, and I have to have the mic volume on my recorder at full volume for some reason or it doesn't get a signal...  I've always had trouble with that 12-track recorder!

Sissy makes friends easily

On the Thursday I visited my dad and his wife.  That was great.  I miss having a car, because if I did then I could just visit people whenever I have time.  As it is, I have to know in advance when I am off so that I can hire a car to go anywhere.  Very frustrating.

The MXL V69 microphone in front
of my 12-track recorder.

When I was back at work on the Friday, the subject of Titus came up.  The person working with me told me that all that the salt treatment does is to change the consistency of the water to make it easier for the fish to swim, in the hope that the ailment corrects itself, but the odds of that are apparently incredibly slim!  I will never stop wondering though that if I had got the dosage correct and had got hold of enough of the right amount of treatment, would he have survived and been one of those?  I will never know, but it will always be there.

Yes, I miss him..  We both do.  We always will.  Pets give us comfort, peace, and so much, no matter the size.  Some people are pet people, and some aren't.  We are.

Thank you for reading, please take care

August 14th 2014 (43 years, eight months, and 19 days old).