Out but don't want to be

Hi there from Rufford Abbey Country Park near Ollerton in Nottinghamshire.

Here I am sat blogging on my phone, while my sweetheart, Louise, is photographing whatever it is that she is photographing.

I'm sat sort of watching, but wishing I was elsewhere. Yes, that joke of "it looks like I'm interested, but really I'm thinking of playing guitar" is exactly what's happening at this exact moment!

I have a variety of musical things that I need to get done on this day off work - Tuesday doesn't count as a day off, as that's dead man walking territory for the most part right there - a symptom of the something I read about, where people who work shifts, particularly those who only work nights (me for instance), suffer from tiredness, lack of concentration, short attention span (no change there for a light sufferer of ADD anyway - ADHD without the hyperactivity essentially), irritability, mood swings, erm, and other stuff. Back to that in a bit, eh!

Anyway, we are a couple of weeks into the 50:90 songwriting challenge, and I've had close to no time to do anything.

My work for the most part consists of driving for thirteen hours checking numerous sites, responding to alarms and all that, and that's a lot of hours five days a week.

I know that I'm not the only person that does that, but I'm just pointing out that as much as I love, live, and breathe music, I just don't have the time or energy to do it.

I'm letting so many down as well, because I'm a part of a few multi-contributor pieces where they are waiting for me, but I don't have the time that they do.

I hope that I'll get to it all, because the longer I go not getting it done, the more pissed off I get with everything.  Also, the more my anger builds at having to go out so that we get some time together.

I love Louise so much, but after over sixty hours a week of driving, sometimes the last thing I want to do is drive somewhere!

I also have a tendency to nod off while I'm driving when we are out, and I'm sick of how I keep explaining that for five days a week I'm in bed until about four in the afternoon after getting into bed at 9am.

People who don't have this night shift life will never understand it, and I am envious of them!

All of this was written on Wednesday the 27th of July 2016, and now it's Sunday the 31st, and I'm thinking of just posting whatever's here to see if a conversation starts...

Yep, I'm lazy and can't be bothered to read through and finish it off!

Thanks for reading.

Sunday 31st of July, 2016 (45 years, 8 months, and 5 days old.