Natter natter natter, blah

Here's something I wrote yesterday at work;

I am absolutely fed up up of being taken the piss out of.  It's right what people say.  If you do a favour once, your expected to keep doing it.  In work terms this is similar.

That's funny.  Just as I wrote that my work rang with my shifts for next week, which is 4 shifts that make up 36 hours.  I think that should be okay.  I'm crossing my fingers at getting some top up money from HMRC.

As I was going to say, I'm fed up of constantly losing all of my days off, mainly because of being maybe too kind before now.  It's always something that people are going to take advantage with.  In this case though, I said thatI was sick of it, and they do seem to have taken notice.  Now I don't mind if they ring and ask me to work one extra during one of those days off.  I am sorry that I've lost working at Loughborough next week though, because there are people there that I get on with an chat with, and there's a rapport as well with everyone.

The plus side though is that I won't have too much travelling to do.  But it won't stop me from looking for something else, because I want something that is less of a week to week thing.  I want a job where I know what I'm doing at least a month in advance, which I was promised when I was interviewed for the job, because then I can have a life outside of work.  I can arrange to see people without the worry that I'll have to let them down again when things are changed.

I want a job where I can go and check out bands, where I can have fun, where I know that I am giving my full attention to the things and the ones that I love, one person in particular.  I don't like having so little time that I have to choose what to do with so little time.

As things are, it's rare that me and Louise even get the same time off.  While I was on holiday time it was good because even though she was working, we still had one day that week just for us.  I got time to spend in the studio on something that I love doing.  We both got to have fun, instead of me being like a zombie and not understanding anything going on around me.  Next week though I have been given the same time off as Louise, which actually did shock me.  Anyway, less of that now.

I have now written the rest of the Castle Hill School blog, and it is probably more informative than it should be in some people's opinions, but I've decided not to skirt around it, because in some ways I feel like it's useless going into the subject and clouding over things, as it was a harrowing and traumatic time that could be learnt from.

It is an incredibly long piece though, but then it gets it out of the way, rather than stretching it out.  Yes I should face up to things that scare me, but prolonging that is like punishing myself.  That plus I think that it makes me more of a generous and giving person, and so I wouldn't want to lose the perspective of it.

I know that without context all of this makes little sense to you, but it will when you read it.  While you're reading, please remember that it's my past, and that I am around 85 to 90 percent sane now :-)

Hopefully during my days off I can get some time to do some writing.  The lyrics to a new piece I'm looking at called Prints In The Sand are tempting me to write on keyboard.  We will see.  Guitar is more familiar to me, but sometimes the almost alien like thing to piano/keyboard brings new ideas to writing.  I know that like many things I am writing at the moment, the lyrics have a very rock feel to them, so we will see.  I do have riffs for other songs, and I'm hopeful that my friend Dobby would be interested in some singing.  My big dream would be to gig the rockier material with him up front singing with some guitar work as well.  That's the dream, but then I am a dreamer.  They don't all come true, but they're still good things.

Sorry finished on a downer.  Anyway, please take care of yourselves.

Thank you for reading, I hope it wasn't too boring.

Marv - 5th March 2011 (40 years, 4 months, and 7 days old)